The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize