me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
