The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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