rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
