That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
