I'm jealous of your bromance
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
