Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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