nut hugger
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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