Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
