She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
