Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize