Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
