just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize