Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
