Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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