I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
