oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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