Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
