I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize