awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
