OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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