put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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