My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
