she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Alive.
So much puke
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
