ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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