there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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