I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize