Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
