i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Non-Jews are for practice
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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