NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
