Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
