Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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