He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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