I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
