just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
