I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i think im in europe. pls send help
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
