i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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