She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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