I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
