I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My ATM looks so different sober.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
