is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
