Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
