She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
