I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
