I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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