hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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