Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
