How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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