My Higher Power is John Stamos
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize