Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
