SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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