I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Rumble strips road head = magical
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
that is very illegal...i love you.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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