Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
