If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize