Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
