worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
