Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As shirtless as possible
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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