Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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