its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
