hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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