doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
