at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
