"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
