So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
