the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
